Theme Week Two

"For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to write that history myself."
~ Winston Churchill

I don't really remember Jimmy Carter. He took office the year before I was born and held that office for the first three years of my life, but I have no recollection of him doing anything for the greater good, or for the detriment of man. I'm fairly sure that I could look him up; give the skinny on what he was all about, but that's not history living through me. That's just me spewing someone else's rhetoric. In fact, I don't really recall much of that point in my life at all, which may or may not be cause for alarm. 

I was born the year after Elvis Presley died. While it is certainly true that I was never a part of Elvis' life and he most assuredly was never part of mine, I can't help but look back on that. See, in my lifetime, there has never been an icon of such magnitude. I'm willing to bet that someone out there will challenge that statement with a clever reminder of the late (debatably great) Michael Jackson, but I don't think that he impacted the world in any way remotely close to the way that Elvis did. I say this without bias, as I am at once a "fan" of both, yet of neither at the same time. I just think that music is influential, iconic, and other than government, has the most significant impact on worldwide culture as a whole.

After Jimmy Carter came Ronald Reagan. There was just something that I never liked about the man. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that his term in office is directly responsible for the current crisis that our country faces the very day of this writing. But I'm not here to meander about politics. I was merely just pointing out an observation. As the fate of this writing would have it, at the same time the Reagan Administration was taking place, so was the rise to fame of Michael Jackson. So was something called Music Television. It changed things in a way that I was previously"not hip" to. With the introduction of MTV, came the loss of any free will that teenagers may have once possessed. As far as the eye could see, from the 80's right to Thursday, January 26th, 2012, that industry has been the business of making culture any way that it deems necessary (and, consequentially, making ludicrous mounds of capital in the process). 

In some form or another, I "slept" through all of this. My childhood was a nightmare of divorced parents (goodbye, 50's sensibilities) that absolutely hated one another and used me as some sort of instrument of mutual destruction. For my part, I mostly collected music of my own finding, destroyed vast amounts of Transformers and played my Nintendo. I don't recall a lot of those early years, either because I don't care to, or because they were all the same. Today, much like then, I find the American Dream boring and fruitless. The mediocrity of doing the same thing in a different sequence every day of my life is about as palatable to me as rotten meat. And let's face it; what other options are there for a child, really? My choices were go to school, come home, do homework, have some sort of free time and go to bed. All of these in a different order, give or take. The only thing that seemed to change at all over this time was my mother's alcoholism and my tastes in music, which ranged from classic R&B such as Ray Charles and Little Richard, to Motown hits such as The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, etc. Now came Prince and the Revolution and the like. I was an old man in a child's body. Although I didn't know it at the time, I was growing in reverse. 

It was about the time that George Bush showed up that I really started having issues with the future.I was blissfully unaware of global tensions during my days under the Red Flag of Reagan. I knew that something called The Cold War had ended, but I didn't know any solid or real thing about it. And why should I? Politics is no place for a child. In fact, politics is no place for anyone, so far as I can tell. With "Daddy" Bush in office, however, came the "war that would not end." There was no real getting past that one. It was on just about any channel that you could turn a television to.  Even good ol' MTV had something to say, and said it in a way that would somehow make you want to go out and spend money on shit you didn't want or need. I remember being uncomfortable a lot. This was my first big crisis, and I didn't know much about invasion at the time. Could it happen on American soil? A lot of people my age were scared and confused. The issue with "the commies" had us all under the impression that WAR meant Annihilation. Though it wasn't all bad, I suppose. I remember to this day the elation, the elevation and the extreme emotion that came with the toppling of the Berlin Wall. It was a stark contrast indeed to the "storm" in the desert, where the "Scud" was king. My Motown roots were being mowed down by this new thing called "Alternative" music. I was caught up in Nirvana and Alice in Chains, while sipping Smashing Pumpkins on the side. If I had only known more about Bob Dylan, I would have been well aware that "Times, they are a changin." Seems like MTV didn't need to get to me directly. It got to those around me, their television induced opinions somehow gaining a foothold in my own. I was inadvertently coming into a time which would represent the only era of my life in which my body and my mind would be the same age: my teenage years. 

In 1993, I would witness the first actual hero that I had ever been privy to. Looking back on it, the man may well have been a superhero, save for the fact that he had no otherworldly powers and no brightly lit and caped costume. On January 20th, 1993, Bill Clinton became the 42nd President of the United States. I could probably sit here for another hour and prattle on about how much good this guy did, but I won't. Suffice it to say that at any age, I would have been amazed. The only thing that stands out about the history of this country since I have been alive in it other than his presidency, is the darkness that has come over it since his departure. I can honestly say that I was glad to be around in a time when this country was flourishing. It was truly a wonderful thing to behold. Sure, we always have our issues (as a nation), but this was a relatively peaceful and prosperous time to be an American. And it was in that time that I was happy to be one. I wasn't told to, or forced by society into believing that our country was a good one. It was an era of pride because we were actually proud, not because some dipshit went on television amidst the ruins of New York, telling us that it was our "duty." That didn't happen until...
September 11th, 2001: A brutal day to be an American, for sure. A brutal day to be young in America, to say the least. I say this because at the time, I was 22 years old. I was bleakly aware that this would have no resolution for the foreseeable future. As if this disaster and the realizations that came with it weren't bad enough, people started marketing the disaster in the worst possible ways. In a country where freedoms are integral, our right to speak out against this war called revenge was simply banished. Flags and stamped coins, photographs, catchy tunes; all of these made paupers millions. The American Flag had become an outright symbol of the capitalism that it was hitherto just playfully painted as. I watched, awestruck, at the thousands of ribbons that started donning cars and shirts and stationary. We were sending people off to die by the thousands and people wanted me to support that decision, but I simply could not. I was also faced with the knowledge that while most countries had assumptions and jokes at the American expense, our completely bumbling and inept president outright confirmed our faults to the world. Here was out leader, unable to read a simple book. This was the man that "we, as a people, elected to lead." And the worst part about all of it was that everyone fell right into line. Everyone did exactly what they were told. While our nation plummeted into debt with stocks crashing left and right, while home ownership became some horrible burden and while the memory of the people who died in those buildings gave way to the new ones dying for oil and revenge, we became complacent. And this is exactly where we stayed. Somewhere in the course of that time, I traded in my suburban rock life for the urban expanses of gritty New York hip-hop. It wasn't a hard thing to see coming, if you know the minute details of my life (which I have kept out of this verbose landslide for a reason). As a writer, as a poet, it was just the next logical progression in my attempt to find and use my "voice." I traded my "Come As You Are" for a "And if you don't like it, then hey fuck you!" The irony, angst and determination just spilling off of me. I understood that facade of the peppermint suburban outfitter's dream was about as compelling as defecating thumbtacks. The kid from the broken home finally returned to his roots, as though it was all just a matter of blinking. Those hip-hop tones and scores are nothing more than mixed, mastered and well marketed rhythm and blues. Hell, most of it is made of samples or reconstructions of that exact music.
These days, I am a child in a man's body. That doesn't make me feel the slightest bit sorry about myself, or the position that I'm in. I never got to be one when I was one, and my teenage years were basically spent the same way almost all teenage years are spent. MTV has become something that resembles a snake eating it's own tail. I'm not even completely sure that they play music anymore. Michael Jackson and Ronald Reagan are both dead, like Elvis. And much like Elvis, they have stirred up a lot of debate, flat out argument, side taking and nostalgia. With my reversal complete, I have thrown in the political towel for a more direct approach as far as music. Aside from making my own, my tastes have found a sort of "solid ground," in that I have finally discovered something that not only speaks to me, but through me. Now the tones of Aesop Rock can be found floating throughout my inner and literal hallways. Talib Kweli taught me that "life is a beautiful struggle," and that I didn't need to be "Tougher than Leather," like RUN D.M.C. I no longer keep up with what my government is doing, because all it ever did was make me miserable. As of today, I cast my vote for what I want for dinner, and only get political about whether or not chicken or salmon tastes better in a teriyaki taco. For what it's worth though, I did finally find Bob Dylan. And as far as I'm concerned, "Don't think twice, it's alright," is almost perfect advice.