Week One. Day Two.

"Continuous eloquence wearies. Grandeur must be abandoned to be appreciated. Continuity in everything is unpleasant. Cold is agreeable, that we may get warm."
~ Blaise Pascal

 I like to bitch a lot, and today is no different. Upon rousing my head from the sanctity of my pillow this morning (against my will and my better judgement), I looked over at my 42" computer monitor and was shocked to realize that the weather staring back at me said that it was -2 degrees outside. Negative. Two. Degrees. Let me tell you all a little something, okay? I'm from the South. Not as far south as Georgia or Florida, but I have to say that North Carolina does not even come close to reaching the ungodly and miserable temperature of negative two degrees. On top of all that, North Carolina does not have inches of ice under inches of snow for you to slip and fall and break a hip, or smash whatever is left of your after college brain right out of the paltry safe that is your skull. As I stated yesterday....dreaming of beachfront property. 

Anyway, being the naive and stupidly optimistic human being that I am (despite my rants and bitching), I did manage to get a fair amount of things done today. While going out for mayonnaise and mustard may not seem like a great thing, I can actually say that in this weather, anything is better than nothing. I also managed to pick up some eclairs, some pudding, milk, bread and this demonic truffle bomb, which I can only describe as taking a large bite out of a black hole, losing part of your soul in the process and knowing that you will return to this madness because as a human being you are prone to doing stupid and irrational things. I can't help but think that there is some sort of milk heaven out there somewhere, created just for sinners of the truffle bomb persuasion. But I digress. 

I still haven't managed to do shit around the house, though. I guess that doing the dishes is somewhat of an accomplishment, but that's overshadowed by the fact that I cooked dinner for four, thus creating another dismal pile out of what was once pristine. Truly, these are the best of times. Oh, in case you happened to be wondering: Dinner was a slightly underwhelming chicken and bacon Alfredo with frozen garlic bread. That's how we do things around here. 

In other news, I'm thinking about cutting my hair and doing something with this dead squirrel of a beard that laziness has allowed me to let permeate the flesh of my face. I'm not much of a beard person, so I'm not ashamed to admit that at my age, I have no idea how to properly maintain one. It seems that trimming it with clippers is just a waste of months of growth and looking foolish (which I take extreme pride in), but due to hands that constantly seem to shake from the ever present chill in the air, I'm afraid that I'll come out looking like something from a Roger Corman film should I decide to take a set of scissors to it. Indeed, the little things are my burden in life. 

In yet another breathtaking and newsworthy event, Erica is doing much better. After yesterday's events, she's functioning enough to give me that "you bastard" look and able bodied enough to try to shove me down the stairs. Life just isn't worth living if death isn't lurking around every corner and I'm about 90% positive that at any moment a magazine might collide with the back of my head. In all seriousness though, she's recovering faster than I could have hoped for. Among being one of the most interesting people that I know, she has a majestic fortitude to her. It is both awesome and destructive. Truly a blessing and a curse...so to speak. 

I'm afraid that's about all I have in me for the day. I was hoping to get cracking on that 2nd person part of the autobiography, but I'm afraid that the only thing I'll be cracking into this evening are a few relaxation beers and some R & R. I don't like the cold, but I like having to function in it even less.