~ Rod Serling
The damned thing just won't stop making noise. I mean, it's not enough that this requires some sort of concentration, but the added weight of the constant noise is almost enough to just make me say "To Hell with it." As I stand here literally holding my dick, I wonder just what in the hell is taking place...and why I'm just now starting to see the problem.
The darkness is almost all-encompassing, and as I try to focus with what little light is coming through the doorway behind me, it dawns on me that this might very well be as tricky of a situation as I'm apt to be in this evening. The alcohol in my veins has gotten me a bit wobbly, and as I steady myself, I hear it coming through the door behind me. It is making all kinds of strange noises, and at times, seems as if it might be choking on something; perhaps the sound of an animal with a smokers cough. Suddenly, there is a nudge on my left leg. I look down, just in time to slightly stagger to the right. Oddly enough, there is nothing there. I may have ingested enough hops to anesthetize a small horse, but I'm not hallucinating..mentally or physically. Something touched my goddamned leg. That's when I hear it on the tub beside me; the thump of feet landing on the rim, that hollow "thump." I look over, and staring back at me are two gleaming, crystal-blue eyes. It is the bathroom monster, and he has come to witness "the release."
As usual, I ignore him, focusing on the task at hand. It's been at least 45 minutes since I've relieved myself, and now is the time. I have not a moment to pare on silly animal and it's strange bathroom behaviors. I take aim....
Suddenly, it's between my legs, both of it's front paws on the rim of the cold porcelain throne, staring down into the dark and cold depths. Unfortunately, it's time has come.
I purge, releasing a night's worth of toxins, hops, malt, barley and (I'm sure) some degree of water, hoping to hell that it doesn't land on the goddamned thing's miserable little head. As I tilt my head back down from the ceiling, I notice that it isn't there anymore. My feelings of both guilt and pleasure all removed, I notice that he is, once again, perched upon the edge of the tub....just in the prime spot to watch the toilet dance it's roundabout dance, flushing my urine, wasted time, and night's worth of endurance down the tubes.
I really, really, really dislike cats.
Week 10, right? Alienation? You qualify on subject matter alone!
ReplyDeleteI'm always surprised at how coy students are about physical realities, how unwilling to deal in writing with the things we all know about and do but don't usually see as acceptable topics.
Well, here you are writing about taking a piss and offering the reader a master class in how to expand and develop something that could be summarized in two words: 'I pissed.' That ability to make something out of nothing, to explore reality with your mind, to know what you're thinking are all hallmarks of a writer on his game.
Glad you noticed the change. My goal, as stated to you in the other topic, was to be more honest with my writing. From the response, I would say that I have succeeded. Thank you for your praise. It helps, as I don't really talk to anyone else about my writing. Nothing quite motivates like positive feedback....well, honest positive feedback, at any rate. I can't stand being placated.
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