"Fate is character."
~ William Winter
As he sits in the dying light of the day, his thoughts turn. For what he is, his mind is as contemplative as can be; nothing overlooked, even if it seems that way. He knows that today may be the last of his days, and that thought isn't as disturbing to him as it probably would be to others. This is a man who has lived more fully than people twice his age, and it shows at the most inopportune of times. As he snubs the cigarette out in the ashtray and looks around the room, he is filled with the conflicting emotions of desire and accomplishment. After all, he is not his things, but his things remain part of him. He is a collector, a romantic, a clown. He is none of these things. He grins at the thought of being nothing more than "an ornate hat rack," and looks out of the bedroom window. Looking out on the street below, the light hits the wrinkles around his eyes; trophies of a lifetime of laughter and smiles.
As the light of the sun dies out, he stands, his 6' 3" frame towering above the bed. He reaches a tattooed arm up to the dangling chord of the ceiling fan, and turns on the light. With another look around the room, he gives a smile of affection, then turns to walk out the door.
So, who is this? Let me get some information before I comment.
ReplyDeleteIt's me. I couldn't possibly think of anyone I know better. Sure, it's a bit dramatic...but that's how I was feeling at the time.
ReplyDeleteOne of the advantages of writing about someone not you is that the writer is forced outside his own head--he realizes automatically that there are things that have to be explained and illustrated, whereas when one is writing about oneself, one can get so tangled in one's own thoughts and memories that one overlooks one's obligations to serve the reader's needs.
ReplyDeleteSo...Did I do that here? Because even though this was non fiction, this could have been a scene from any number of fictional novels. I'm not sure that I'm completely getting you. I mean...was it BAD, or just...not what you were looking for?
DeleteIt's non-accessible Biddix--the word I'd use is 'solipsistic.'
ReplyDeleteI'm never looking for anything in particular; I'm open to surprises, experiments both successful and failed, explorations.
Okay. I guess a more direct question would be...what do you want me to do with this?
DeleteI think you've done what you intended, which is to cast your life and self in the dramatic glow of a lurid noir novel/video for a few grafs. Heroes of these things are always non-accessible to mortals. It's part of the charm of the genre. Here's Raymond Chandler, working the same territory you do here:
ReplyDelete“...down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. He is the hero; he is everything. He must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man. He must be, to use a rather weathered phrase, a man of honor—by instinct, by inevitability, without thought of it, and certainly without saying it. He must be the best man in his world and a good enough man for any world.
“He will take no man’s money dishonestly and no man’s insolence without a due and dispassionate revenge. He is a lonely man and his pride is that you will treat him as a proud man or be very sorry you ever saw him.
“The story is this man’s adventure in search of a hidden truth, and it would be no adventure if it did not happen to a man fit for adventure. If there were enough like him, the world would be a very safe place to live in, without becoming too dull to be worth living in.”
In short, do nothing. It works for 162--maybe I was a little slow to see that. Sometimes I have to sit on pieces for days before I can quite get them.
I completely understand. Thank you for clearing things up.
Delete