~ Blaise Pascal
39.
From the moment I walk into the store, I realize that what I'm about to do is going to require a large chunk of my life and time that I will never get back. In a lot of aspects, this is exactly what I'm hoping for. The lack of adventure in my life will be played out in this fashion and I'm excited. With cash in hand, I venture forth. The quest, both literally and figuratively, is about to begin.
***
I'm sitting on the foot of the bed, waiting for the opening sequence to begin. I've been waiting months for this. As the screen reveals it's digital secrets, I feel the excitement bubble within me. I will be either hero or villain. I will let all of my best and worst qualities escape me, and with no chance of repercussions, I will simply be "man."
***
With sword in hand, I face my first dragon. As I "shout" it back, I dive in with both hands on the hilt, swinging wildly at it's back and wings, knowing that if it gets me in it's jaws, I am doomed. With a final blow, the massive creature falls before me. As I absorb it's soul, I become stronger. Another ability is now ready for me learn.
***
I am now known across the land. Depending on where I travel, people either know me as a legend, or as something more sinister. Upon entering a town, I will be greeted and hailed, or guards will flock to me, swords drawn. I often amuse myself by smiting them, leaving piles of bodies in my wake. There is no "Hell" for me here, and I act accordingly.
***
All I require now to be free of this curse, this thing that I once loved, is ten thousand gold. It's been three months, two weeks, and several-odd hours. I'm so close; the end of this long journey is within my grasp! At this point, I just want to be free.
***
As the indicator rolls past the 100,000 mark, the familiar BERLING sound indicates that I have achieved a trophy. I sit back and smile. The indicator for the Platinum Trophy pops up in the uppermost right corner of my screen, indicating to me that Skyrim and all of the adventures contained within, have been conquered.
42.
1. I like to drink a lot.
2. Quitting smoking is something I would love to do.
3. Creating lists is easier than doing linked vignettes in my opinion.
4. People say I'm a great cook, but I think it's easy and that the people who say it are lazy.
5. I hate the weather in Maine.
6. I have issues with avarice.
7. I'm blessed with a great metabolism.
8. I secretly wish to be a chocolatier.
9. I don't work on things that I'm good at as much as I should.
10. I can't stand excuses, yet make them all the time.
11. I'm terrified of sharks.
12. I'm completely enamored with sharks.
13. I wish to live on the beach.
14. I enjoy eating more than I probably should.
15. I have more pairs of shoes than most women.
16. I have had two collapsed lungs in my life.
17. This list is getting harder to put together.
18. Meat that comes in a can is disturbing to me.
19. I secretly want to fist fight the Gordon's Fisherman.
20. I wish bad things upon my neighbors.
21. for the most part, I try to be easy to get along with.
22. I have more friends than most people.
23. I am LUCKY to have more friends than most people.
24. I miss where I'm from, but will probably never live there again.
25. I am not so secretly done with this list.
Number of refrigerators I've lived with: 22. Number of rotten eggs I've thrown:0. Number of finger rings I've owned: 0. Number of broken bones: 2. Number of Purple Hearts: 0. Number of times unfaithful to wife: 0. Number of holes in one, big golf: 0; miniature golf: 0. Number of consecutive push-ups, maximum: 15. Number of waist size: 32. Number of gray hairs: 30. Number of children: 2. Number of suits, business: 0; swimming: 1. Number of cigarettes smoked: 1,000. Number of times I've kicked the dog:12. Number of times caught in the act, any act: 50. Number of postcards sent: 0; received: 3. Number of plants that died while under my care: 20. Number of blind dates: 0. Number of jumping jacks: 800. Number of headaches: 340. Number of kisses, given: 3,276 received: 12, 321. Number of belts: 1. Number of fuckups, bad: 400; not so bad: 15,000. Number of times swore under breath at parents: 1,000. Number of weeks at church camp: 1. Number of houses owned: 0. Number of houses rented: 5. Number of hunches played 3,000. Number of compliments, given: 300,000; accepted: 50, 000. Number of embarrassing moments: 4, 782. Number of states visited: 18. Number of traffic tickets: 5. Number of girlfriends: 30. Number of times fallen off playground equipment, swings: 10; monkey bars: 20; teeter-totter: 15. Number of times flown in dreams: 600. Number of times fallen down stairs: 5. Number of dogs: 4. Number of cats: 3. Number of miracles witnessed: 0. Number of insults, given: 200,000; received: 400,000+ . Number of wrong telephone numbers dialed: 80. Number of times speechless: 200. Number of times stuck key into electrical socket: 0. Number of birds killed with rocks: 0. Number of times had the wind knocked out of me: 23. Number of times patted on the back: 150. Number of times wished I was dead: 7. Number of times unsure of footing: 350. Number of times fallen asleep reading a book: 400. Number of times born again: 0. Number of times seen double: 60. Number of deja vu experiences:60. Number of emotional breakdowns: 40 ; Number of times choked on bones, chicken: 0; fish:3; other: ?. Number f times didn't believe parents: 16, 000. Number of lawn-mowing miles: 27. Number of light bulbs changed: 300. Number of brothers: 0. Number of passes at women: 200. Number of stairs walked, up: 800,000; down: 800, 000. Number of hats lost: 80 Number of magazine subscriptions: 16. Number of times seasick: 0. Number of bloody noses: 30. Number of times had sexual intercourse: 2, 000. Number of fish caught: 50. Number of time heard "The Star Spangled Banner": too fucking many. Number of babies held in arms: 19. Number of times I forgot what I was going say: 800.
I went with the list posted because I found it interesting. I'm fairly sure that I could have made my own, but it wouldn't have been as much about the every day...the "mundane." I find that I enjoy mundane when it comes to the writing.
42B--my list, your numbers? Oh, Biddix, what a rascal you are.
ReplyDeleteIt was a solid list. I would have just felt unaccomplished if I had done one of less import....which I certainly would have.
Delete42.
ReplyDelete3--well, yeah!
8--your secret is out now!
25--what's a not-so-secret 'mongst friends!
My secret is safe. No one pays attention to this but you.
Delete39--definitely a series of linked vignettes, but, of course, the appreciative audience for this piece is limited to--what do you call them?--gamers? Gamesters? Gamies?
ReplyDeleteThis is true, though not every author writes for every person. It was the first thing that came to mind, so I rolled with it.
Delete